I have never considered myself to be afraid of doing anything. When ever I have decided I wanted to do something, I just did it, without thinking about it very much in terms of fear. I can honestly say that I have done just about everything I have wanted to do, except for one thing: A rim to rim hike at the Grand Canyon.
Hiking the canyon was not something I always dreamed of doing--I didn't even know you could do that until I started working at the North Rim in 2008. But, WOW! when I started meeting the many people who do it every year, I started thinking it was something I might like to do.
So what is holding me back? Why haven't I made a concrete plan to do it? After all, it has been almost three years now that I have wanted to do this. I think the biggest thing that stops me is my weight. I weight too much, and have not made an effort at reducing in a long time. Oh, I'm not afraid of losing weight, either. I just haven't tried.
The next thing that holds me back is knowing that I would have to sleep out under the stars, with bugs and insects crawling around beside me. I used to camp out in the open many years ago, and never worried about bugs getting on me then, but now? I am so afraid of spiders I can not get past that fear to even think about sleeping outside without a tent for one night, even to experience the Grand Canyon from the bottom.
Another thing that is keeping me from hiking rim to rim is that I really want to share this experience with my husband. The thing is, he has no desire to go. I wonder how he would feel if I went without him. (I haven't asked him, because I am sure he would laugh if I asked because he thinks I will never do it anyway.)
So, what can I do to make myself get ready to do this hike? Who can I get to do it with me, so I don't have to do it alone? Now, usually, I am not afraid of doing things by myself, but for this particular thing, I am. I want someone to go with me, so if I die along the way, someone will know where to find the body. Someone will know that I didn't give up, that I just didn't have the energy to get myself back up that cliff!
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3 comments:
Okay, the tent is easy since there are very lightweight backpacking ones. The weight you need to do for you anyways...LOL! The friend will appear when the time is right, have no fear.
Take it one step at a time...weight & conditioning.
You rock!!!!
I think that would be an awesome experience. I hope you find someone to go with. Have you considered that, although you'd like to share it with your hub, sometimes it is good for partners to do things separately? His lack of enjoyment might spoil it for you. Good luck!
I would go with you if you work on the other things you need to do, and I bet Ken would go with us, too.
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